Sunday, January 8, 2012

Apparently, I Married the Virus Fairy….

Okay, okay, okay….I know it’s been awhile; and I’ve been told by more than one person (my husband included) that it was time for another post. In my defense all I can say is that it is extremely hard to be creative with a head full of snot. Sorry to be so graphic, but SERIOUSLY….

And, yes, it really has been a virtual viral smorgasbord around here since that last post when I was feeling so strong and healthy. And it’s all Mr. B’s fault.

One day after arriving back home (Thanksgiving weekend) after very brave road trip across the country with two teenagers and a not small dog, he started sniffing, and snorting, and hacking. I was all over it with Air Born, high doses of vitamins, and pseudoephedrine…which is my personal viral-busting elixir. But, oh no, not this time…2 days later I sound like a drag queen and my head is swimming in a green fog …which is absolutely perfect, because…I was two days into a NEW JOB.  A chapped nose, glassy eyes and phlegmy cough does not make a great impression…people tend to avoid you.

Oh, and speaking of making an impression…3 days into the new job, I displayed my grace and agility by rolling my ankle as I hit the last stair, landing on my butt with my feet in the air in front of an audience of co-workers. As they stood staring down at me, I was sending up the prayerful litany, “please, Dear God, please don’t let it be broken”. It wasn’t, but it’s still tender, and all the twisting, turning, and rolling also tweaked the ball of my foot, AND I managed to pull the muscle in my right thigh.

And, did I mention my workspace is located on the third floor of a very old bank building that has no elevator? Yeah, I spent a lot of time bracing myself against the wall as I made my way up and down the stairs. Cute.

So about a dozen boxes of tissues, a warehouse of cold medicine and Clorox wipes later, we finally begin to feel somewhat human again, and it’s the week before Christmas.

AND, two days after arriving back home from a quick Christmas weekend trip to Missouri, guess who starts sniffing and snorting and hacking again? I was in the kitchen when I heard him, and I almost lobbed a box of Kleenex at his head. And two days later? Yeah…then I yelled at him and went to bed.

We’re starting to feel somewhat better again, but guess who leaves on a business trip tomorrow, and guess who spent a ridiculous amount of money on immunity-boosting, high-powered his and her supplements today?  And guess who will be taking HIS high-powered, immunity-boosting supplements with him on this business trip, along w/ strict instructions to take them faithfully twice a day or the Kleenex-box-to-the-head threat will become a reality?

We will survive…
Or die trying.

1 comment:

pharm said...

Neosporin and a Q-tip!